Is it just me or are the majority of car guides written for people who are already experts on cars? Many of them are way beyond my basic knowledge of cars, so on the rare occasion when I am ready to upgrade my car, I am at a loss which way to turn.

I must confess to liking some of the more well-known car guides, though, as while the technical terms leave me cold, at least they are written with a little humour and you have a few background stories; while the real hard-core car mags for real petrol heads are completely incomprehensible to someone whose knowledge is limited to the on/off key and the speedometer.

When I am searching for a new car, I just want to know the basics such as how many miles it does per hour, how fast it goes, how well it drives and how reliable it is. Plus, of course, how easy it is to work out all the knobs and buttons.

I don't need to know about torque or combustion, technology or carburant, leave that to the experts and those who are really interested in how the car works and what it does under the bonnet.

So in short, what I am really asking for is a complete idiot's guide to help me to choose the car of my dreams.